Status anxiety is manufactured. Since it’s almost impossible to sell solutions to people with no problems, those problems must be created to solve a recently invented solution already in production. What are the solutions? Often a faster, sleeker widget, or an upgrade to something you already own. Like your skin.
As far back as the 18th century, Rousseau commented that humans find it very difficult to make up their minds about what is important. He is right. We outsource our decisions in to ads, influencers, our brother-in-law who claims to know everything. We see a compelling ad for a new car – look at that beautiful girl lounging on the hood! We want the car. And the girl.
Since they invented themselves, the media has pleaded innocent. Free choice! We aren’t influencing at all. We totally aren’t telling you how to think by manipulating your unconscious bias and overt racism and (best of all), your overwhelming insecurity. The goal is your attention. You are the product.
You also know this, everyone knows this, it’s now just a matter of how to run an effective underground resistance strategy, how to protect your own mind and your attention.
Not as easy as it looks.
Humans are wired to be part of the pack, a member of the tribe; it’s human survival.
But now there is belonging and there is belonging.
You can join the designer handbag tribe, the Fast Furious tribe, the plastic surgery tribe. Too many of our myths feature the outsider who, through pluck and determination, breaks into the “right” tribe or group, from Palm Beach to Mean Girls (which may be the same group). An exclusive tribe or cult that won’t have us is the very one we want badly to join.
After all that, here we are, mature and experienced. We have the luxury to question not only the products, but also the tribes. Who are these special exclusive people? Are they exclusive because no one else can tolerate them and they need to stay cloistered behind high hedges and sound proof walls? Are they all unfit to mix in the general population?
Do you want this group? Can you spend your precious time with people you don’t like? Will you happily kiss people you don’t like? Marry them for entry to the club? Spend every meal counting the calories in 3 oz of dried chicken breast? Is that cost worth the price of admission?
Or do you want to find a tribe that will actually nurture and help you in your second act?
Your acts of resistance are to stop pretending that things will make you happy. Focus instead on experiences, conversations, friends, showing up.
Seek out friends who paint or compose or build. Find makers and artists. Join a poetry slam group. Concert band. These activities will deliver that sublime happiness that a BMW ad hints at, but can never deliver.
Popular books on how to resist our consumer culture often recommend activities like long walks on the beach, or rescuing a pet. Beware of performative volunteering that looks good on social media, but will still leave you feeling empty. Volunteer for a project that doesn’t require a dress code or photos.
Create your own tribe based on your values, include your personal friends. It can look like a book club. It can look like a revolution. Create a better way to get where you want without the car, without the girl.
Click here for more on how to live your second act through art
